every single day reinforces how no one else gives a single shit about trans people.

i talk about ali adbaal a lot because he’s something of a personal hero of mine. i watch his youtube channel, listen to his podcast, and rec his advice, because i believe in him. so when he says shit like he’d love to have jk rowling on his podcast, i do die a little inside.

i’m trying not to cry right now. i’m exhausted, always, and sad, always, and we might not have enough money to get our car next month, and we are barely scraping through, always. imagine if ali abdaal gave that kind of opportunity to someone like me, who has no following and twice the work ethic of jkr. i’m a better writer, a nicer person, and i’ve got a huge rack. i also am not advocating for the extermination of an entire group of people.

but what the fuck else should you expect from cis people. they simply don’t care about trans people. they never have and they never will. i should not be surprised, and honestly i don’t think i am. what i am is hurt that yet again this is shoved in my face. yet again it’s made clear to me just how little me and people like me matter in the world. people with millions of dollars only care about making millions of dollars. they only care about what’s going to build their brand. they don’t care about us. it’s so exhausting.

i’m reaching out to some youtubers now to ask if they want to be on my channel. i had a big day and i should be sleeping because it’s 5am but i hate sleeping. i just keep opening up new youtube tabs and playing videos at 1.75x speed. getting so much info into my overworked brain. yeh. k. bye.